So much for keeping up

 Well, I don't know where the time has gone.  It's December and I have not kept up with my blog.  I had a plan, I was going to be more productive on this blog.  I feel like my mental health needs to be a priority, but reading and writing have always been a safe place for me.  I want to be a writer, and I want to make a true career out of it, but I have this voice in the back of my mind, "who is going to read what you write?"  There are so many amazing rom com stories and what could I possibly write that has not already been written.  I guess it shouldn't matter, I should just do it because I have a story that needs to get out of my head and I want to see it in black and white.  Who cares if people like it, I should just be proud because I finished my story.  But that ugly voice likes to make their opinion known; another thing is is that I'm scared of failing.  I know failure shouldn't be something to be afraid of, in fact, we should embrace it, because at least you tried something, what is that saying "better to have failed than not have tried."  I guess I feel like if I don't succeed then I have to come to the realization that I have no idea what I want to do with my life and it's terrifying to be that lost.  

Mental health is tricky, I still have the same insecurities as I did when I was a teenager.  I know I am rambling on and on, and I need to figure out where I am going with my life, either do it or don't right?  I need to ask myself some questions and I need to answer them honestly.  So, with 2021 coming to an end, I am going to try and think only positive thoughts and that is hard, I pretty much have to rewire my brain, but it's never too late to make a change.  That is something I truly believe, anyone can change it shouldn't matter how old a person is, they can still change for the better, they just have to face what's holding them back, and for me, that's my way of thinking, it's always been my way of thinking, I need more positivity in my thoughts.